Before one starts learning this interesting and thrilling issue, he/she should get rid of such prejudices, like nearly all people have, for example: the idea that all women are chatter-boxes, or that men refrain from touching other people. Now it is high time to come up to one of the most mysterious languages in the world – body language.
First of all let’s speak about gestures of domination for men.
Imagine the situation: a man – employer interviews a woman that applies for the job, he is constantly bending brows and even doesn’t look at his applicant, making the lady think she won’t get this position; but in couple of hours he will phone her and inform that she is accepted. What is the secret? Why do people sometimes try to mislead their interlocutors by wrong gestures and body movements? The good knowing of body language will save you from mistakes and misunderstandings. Sometimes the interlocutor wants to secure himself from offences or even worse disappointments in this way.
Personal space and body position
When a man places himself in the room, he wants to show his dominating position, that is why he occupies more space when he stands or sits; sometimes he sits, spreading out his legs. During the conversation he fidgets and changes the body position more often then a woman does. Also he usually prefers to stay distantly from the interlocutor, so that to observe and control the situation; while listening he prefers to recline. When he talks and stands, he prefers to come closer to a speaker, sometimes penetrating into personal space and confirming his predominating position.
Arm movements
Men’s arm movements are usually more brisk and angular; they keep their fingers together, or, on the contrary, point their fingers to an opponent. Men’s facial gestures are more reserved and express less warmth.
Women’s gestures are lighter and more flexible. During the conversation women bend to a speaker, while men bend the head to the side. All these signs show the positive atmosphere of the conversation, but if the situation is negative, a man is likely to look more steadily at the interlocutor, and a woman will remove her eyes.
Speech and intonation of men and women
According to the researches made, monologues are more typical for men. Moreover, men prefer using strict and direct formulations, they are less talkative then women, they will hardly use such elegant phrases like “ it would be extremely kind of you”, “ it was incredible”, “we have spent unforgettable evening” and so on. They hardly ever use the phrases like “ I hope” or “ I feel like”. Such phrases like “always”, “ never”, “ nobody”, “everybody”, “all” are more common for male lexicon. Men would rather not rise intonation at the end of the phrase. Even their requests look more like commands. Men use slang expressions and strong language oftener, than the weaker sex. Their sounds are more loud and brisk, but monotonous, than sounds in female speech.
How we act
Men are rarely pay compliments, but joke more; women, on the contrary, make compliments to the interlocutor, but will hardly joke. Men adore speaking about their achievements and successes. Women are not fond of speaking much about their abilities, and this behavior can be frequently treated by man as a lack or even absence of talents. Men are more skeptical. Women bear spite longer and burst into tears oftener, if they are offended; men, on the contrary, begin to cry and raise their voice. In the course of debates a woman would appellate to her past experience, while a man would keep his mind on present problem. After the quarrel women usually apologize, though they don’t concede, but simply regret about the quarrel. Women are more sensitive than men, and can be easily hurt by rude and impolite words. Men face difficulties, while speaking about their inner feelings.
All above-listed facts lead roots from difference in process of girls’/ boys’ upbringing. Problem in communication is nothing more but typical behavior for the representatives of this or that sex. Considering this, on may avoid quarrels and unpleasant situations in future.
