Her breaking up

Her breaking up

You don’t love him any more, he doesn’t love you any more, you spent some really good time together, before you maybe were thinking that it was going to last forever but now you clearly see that you have no future, you don’t even quite understand why do you still together. Maybe you don’t have enough strength to leave but the time to part has definitely come. Don’t wait to be dumped – you know that it’s not what you want. Still you can go away in a civilized way, without the less bad memories as it’s possible.

First of all you should get sure that the time has come. Try to imagine yourself without him – don’t you feel that fresh breeze of freedom. It always better to be alone than unhappy. Probably you think you won’t be able to live without him. It’s only how it seems.

 Once you lived without him – that means you are quite able to cope with it once more. Don’t miss a good thing till it’s gone, is that what you are afraid of? But is the thing so really good if it causes so much hurt and depression.

So you’ve finally decided. Try to act a good girl the last days together, although it can be hard. It’s only better for you – later you will remember that you’ve done everything right and that it was he screaming and making scandals and you were so nice and calm. You can be sure that after it’s over he will remember that nice you and only regret about all.

Be nice even the very moment you leave. Yes, you may want to blame him and tell him all the reason why you are leaving and probably you would like him to see that it’s only his fault, but you both have heard it all before and there’s no need to repeat. This time you only mission is to go, the time for the loud performances is over, you should just leave quietly leave.

It’s not easy to close the door behind you so don’t make it even more harder – don’t push yourself. You should wait for the right moment, when you will clearly see that “yes, this is it”.  All those “now or never” aren’t necessary, do it when it will be the most comfortable for you. Also don’t tell him that you are going to leave, that may cause one more unpleasant scene or probably he will try to stop you, conceive that nothing is over, that you both still have a chance. Maybe that’s just what you want to hear but it’s only for a while. You can even do a little cheating – tell him that you are leaving for a while, say that your friend asked you to water her plants and feed her fish while she’s out on the vacations.

If it is difficult for you to accept at once the though that you’ve parted forever – you may tell yourself that it is only for a while, till the situation gets clearer. Later on you will understand what you really need or maybe you will get used to living alone and won’t be so scared of it anymore.

You’d better pack your bags and move while he’s not at home, but for example on a business trip or simply at work. It will be an unpleasant surprise for him to come home and find you’re gone, but this how it will be easier for you. Probably it seems that there so much your stuff at his place that it’s impossible to remove it all at once. If you don’t really want to prolong this doubtful pleasure you will surely manage. Ask a friend with a car – if you don’t have one – to help you, or land some transport. You should try not to leave any of your stuff at his place in order not to have a reason or a temptation to come and see him.

It’s important not to communicate with each other for a while, until you make sure that you’ve finally got rid of all emotions god and bad. You should try to fight the will to call him to ask “how’s it going?’. Talk to your friends and they will tell you how your relationships have been looking recently, you may be surprised or even shocked but that will help you not to feel pity about them.

After you’ve left you have all rights to start a new life. You should go out more, seek for the new acquaintances, meet with you good old friends more, hang out together, finally pay some attentions to how your job is going, visit new places, find new hobbies and activities, go on a vacations, spend more money on yourself and yours entertainment. You should remember that the end of one story is usually a beginning of an other.