Misunderstanding him

Misunderstanding him

This article is entirely addressed to women. While reading this article carefully, one can find out that sometimes she misunderstands him (friend, husband or partner) and will learn to comprehend men better.

He is not so bad
First of all, let us remind you that men differ from women. They communicate in another way, they can hardly speak about their emotions. That is why when we begin to contact with them, it is so hard to understand some of their steps and reactions. Imagine the situation: a very cute young man sees an attractive lady at the party. Their eyes meet and they feel mutual attraction. They get acquainted, and the lady feels that this man hardly looks at her, he speaks with her in a monotonous voice, and his phrases sound like commands: “Sit down, let’s have a talk”, etc. He speaks about himself and his successes; when the lady tries to change the topic of discussion, he nearly ignores it, still speaking about himself and trying to produce positive impression.  What does she feel? Only disappointment and regret. But the main idea is that this man behaves as men usually do.

Let him boast
Men like to talk about their achievements in business, but women perceive it as a sign of egoistic male nature (some men seem to behave like boys that boast who is the strongest, the cleverest and so on). That is why you should take this character trait as a matter of course.  The main point is to show him respect, to like him, to let a man be himself.

Laugh together with him
Men like to make caustic remarks. They consider it to be funny, while women interpret  male jokes as an expression of real feelings, or even desire to hurt and offend. How would you feel if your boyfriend says something like: “Ok, eat this doughnut too, they look so lovely on your body?” By all means, you won’t take it as a compliment. You will begin to think over his words, coming up to conclusions about drawbacks of your figure, and so on. The problem is that your friend has just made a joke in “man’s style”.  If he told the joke of that kind to his male friend – he would simply laugh, and eat another doughnut .  Let him joke, and look at his jokes as he looks at them, he simply wants to show that he is really witty.

Man and his living space
Men always need more space, than women do. Women would rather accept this peculiarity for an irritating and dictatorial one.  When a man interferes into your private space, he simply follows the habit, he has been doing it since childhood, and has got used to demonstrate his force in this way.

Don’t trespass on guardianship
Women sometimes try to guard and take care of their men too much. They do it for splendid motives, while a man would feel himself as a child. Such a strong man, as he takes himself for, would never like this role. If a girl is persistent in her constant excessive care, a man can even disappear one day.

Control or…?
Do you feel that you are guided by your man? You are not alone in this feeling!  The problem lies in difference of men’s and woman’s mentality. When you ask a man for help, you expect to be protected, but instead you get thousands of extra questions about the problem. Why does it happen?  Just because you want to be calmed down, while he wants to solve your problem and   know everything about it. 

“I want to do it myself”
Sometimes you are surprised with your partner refusing any help; for example, if he faces a problem at work, he won’t ask you for help, as he was taught to solve all problems on his own!  At least, he won’t ask you for help directly, he would rather only discuss the problem with you. It is really up to you whether to hear him out, or suggest a good way out of the situation. Remember only one thing - if you give advice, even good and reasonable, his self-evaluation would suffer greatly. Try to give him just a hint and keep man’s assurance in his knowing the best way out. Don’t compete with him - play into his hands.

Everybody wants to be loved
Men really like compliments not less than women, but always pretend they don’t. Try not to criticize your partner, stimulate his activity and successes with compliments.

Communication and solitude
You love him, you consider him to be your best friend, and you strive to spend more time with him, while men prefer to meet with the representatives of their own sex.  He can speak about whatever he wants, he really needs this communication just to refresh his forces. That is why if you ask him not to meet with his friends – the only possible reaction will be offence and alienation. He will never be under your total control!

Actions are more revealing than words! 
Even if he says: “Bring me beer!” instead of “Could you bring me beer, please?”, that doesn’t mean he is a rude fellow. Remember, men will always be men. It is really hard to change male nature, so you must appreciate him without any changes.